Saturday, August 8, 2020

Screenbones is on Medium

 

Screenbones Medium Home Page


So, this is something I have been thinking of doing for a while now, but now I have a page on Medium for personal stories. This will range from stories about the kind of jobs I perform, stories from College, or when major life events happen (My birthday is on August 31st, and I'll be turning 21, for example).

The stories I posted about Bessie and Piper have been reposted over there, and there will be more to come. If you wish to hear about these stories, go ahead and follow me over there!

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

What the death of Piper taught me about collars

It was a late night on July 12, 2020. Me and my Mom were talking in her room, my sisters were doing whatever they do in their rooms, and my two dogs, Moe and Piper, were playing with each other in the backyard.

Like any ordinary owner, we had collars on both of them. They had our phone numbers on them in case one or both of them escaped and someone found them.

What we didn't know was how dangerous these common accessories are.

As we were doing our thing, my sister came upstairs and informed us that the dogs were making an odd and scary noise. Obviously this was concerning. What was going on? Did another animal jump into our yard? Was someone trying to break into our house?

We went outside and saw, in horror, Moe on top of Piper. At first, we thought he was playing way too hard and hurting Piper. We tried to get him away from her, and realized that Moe's tooth was stuck on Piper's collar.

We didn't know what to do. Moe was scared, Piper was on the floor, Mom ran to the neighbors to get help, and Angel tried to get Moe off to no avail. I ultimately ended up on the floor with them, trying to get Moe to calm down, and trying to figure out how to get them unstuck.

Ultimately, the solution was getting the collars off of them, which our neighbor, who was a bit more level-headed then our panicked selves could figure out. By the time that was done, it was over. Moe ran into the house in fear, and Piper was on the floor, motionless. Gone.

At first, I couldn't believe it. We only had her for a few months. How is Moe going to react to his best friend being gone? How is my little sister going to react to one of the dogs being gone? She already experienced the loss of Bessie, even though she doesn't really comprehend the concept of death yet. What are we going to tell Dad and Julian?

What are we going to tell Piper's previous owners?

I'm still having a hard time accepting that this happened. This feeling of sadness is different than what I experienced before. Last time, it was easier to move forward, knowing that Bessie lived a full and happy life. This time, this sadness is paired with guilt.

Even though Piper's previous owners forgave us, and harbors no hard feelings towards us, I still feel like we betrayed their trust. I'm still kicking myself for not realizing we should take the collars off in the first place, even knowing that Piper's neck was likely already broken when we found them.

I know I shouldn't blame myself. But I can't help it. I want her back.

After that, I went to Google to see if this is something other people have experienced. Of course, there is a term for what happened. Piper was a victim of "Collar Strangulation", a threat I had no idea existed, and something I deeply wish someone told me about before. We purchased a break-away collar for Moe, and once we're ready to get him a new pal, they will get one as well. I refuse to ever lose another dog this way ever again.

Rest in Peace, Piper. I wish you could have lived your full life.


Friday, May 29, 2020

What I've been working on

Hello, all!

I know it's been a long while since I last posted here. However, I've been busy working on quite a few projects.

Saturday, February 8, 2020

The Loss of a Beloved Friend

February 4, 2020.

This is a day I will remember from today and beyond. This is the day I lost my beloved Bessie Salin, my first dog, my best friend. And it's painful.

We got Bessie around 2012, shortly after we moved away from Tempe and into Florence/San Tan Valley. She was found stuck under a fence somewhere in Eloy. She was around 2-3 years old when we found her, and she became an instant member of my family. I would pet her, I would hug her, I would love her. She was there when I graduated from Middle School and throughout my High School career. She was there when my little sister, Lillian, was born. She was there when we needed comfort. She was Lillian's backyard buddy.

I took it for granted that she was there. I knew this day would come, but it always seemed like a distant future. Even when I noticed signs that she was getting to the end of her life, I still expected that I would have more years to come. I couldn't imagine a world in which she is not there with me.

But now, that's the world I live in. And it hurts. I want so bad to look outside and see her laying there in her favorite spot. I want so bad to walk into the garage and see her sleeping, being woken up by my actions and begging for pets. I want to pet her. I want to walk her. I want to hug her.

February 6, 2020. This is the day we took her lifeless body to the Animal Hospital, ready to be cremated. This was also the day the reality of what happened really sunk in. I cried. I cried myself to sleep, and I woke up the next day crying some more. I called out from work because I was so hysterical, I didn't think I would be able to function. I couldn't focus on any of my homework the entire week, even as the deadlines are imminent.

I knew the loss of a loved one was painful, but this is a kind of pain I could never imagine. I was not ready for this. But the world is a cruel place. It doesn't wait for you to be ready. It doesn't give you reasons to be ready. There are no go-backs. There are no respawns. There are no save states.

Bessie lived a full life. She was at leased 11 when she passed. A Basset Hound typically lives 10-12 years. She was loved from the day we found her to the day she was gone. She lied in her favorite spot in the sun to fall asleep for the last time. I know I should be happy for her. I know I shouldn't be so selfish.

But I can't help it. I feel like I didn't spend enough time with her. I feel like I didn't do as much as I really could. I want another chance. I want more years. I feel so lonely, even though I have family all around me. There is a hole in my heart where she used to reside.

Our urns arrived February 7th, 2020, and her cremains will be arriving sometime this next week. I want to do something to honor her, but I'm scared to do anything permanent.

Rest in Peace, Bessie. You will always be loved.

You Left Paw Prints on my Heart

Thursday, August 29, 2019

Welcome to Screenbones!

Hello, all!

Welcome to Screenbones. I don't really know what I'm going to do with this from this point, but I'm just about done setting goals for game development. It's just not going to happen.

I just don't have the time anymore.

So, Screenbones is now going to be a personal blog. I have an archive of my old posts, and some of them are going to resurface here and there. Others will be redone. But I'm just gonna post what I'm thinking about, and see what direction I go from there.

As Always,
-Keep Exploring