Friday, January 10, 2020

Good Behavior

Do not punish the behavior you want to see. I mean, it seems pretty obvious when you put it like that, right? But how many families, when an introvert sibling or child makes an effort to socialize, snarkily say, "So, you've decided to join us"? Or, when someone does something they've had trouble doing, say, "Why can't you do that all the time?" Or any sentence containing the word "finally". If someone makes a step, a small step, in a direction you want to encourage, encourage it. Don't complain about how it's not enough. Don't bring up previous stuff. Encourage it. Because I swear to [swearing] god there is nothing more soul-killing, more motivation-crushing, than struggling to succeed and finding out that success and failure are both punished.

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